Just Keep Showing Up

a picture of us on Mother's Day 2018

"Will you love me always? No matter what?" Jonathan (at the time 11 years old) leans in close awaiting my answer. It was the second time he asked this question that day, and every time I answered the same way:

Always and forever. No matter what.

He smiled wide and brought me in close for a big bear hug. He squeezed too tight and I had to deal with the pain as my almost-man lingered in my embrace.

Even after three years home at the time, he asked this question at least once a day. He needed the constant reassurance of his place in my heart and in our family. No matter what.

Accepting our love has been one of the hardest obstacles for him. He thought love was conditional and that ours would fade or depart. So day in and day out, he tested and fought and pushed us away. He gave us every opportunity to bow out.

But we stayed. And we continue to be present and give love as best we can, no matter what.

Our love isn't perfect. But we are here each day. Always and forever. No matter what.

Just showing up each day sends our kids a message of security and safety. Just by living out our love we show them that we are the anchor keeping them grounded when waves of insecurity and fear wash over them.

Mom, you are doing great! Just keep being there. Just keep showing up.

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