A letter to the foster or adoptive mom who is glad Mother's Day is over


Note: I wrote this post many years ago when we were in a very different and difficult season. I'm sharing today with the hopes that it may encourage fellow moms who are struggling right now. May you know that you are not alone.


I see you. You are living life in the trenches. Life is hard a lot of the time. You've got kids that struggle. Kids that are hurting. Kids that know chaos more than they know peace. Kids having a hard time adjusting or still processing the gravity of loss they have experienced in their life so far. Kids that have more questions than answers and often feel more fear than hope.

You fall into bed each night wondering when life is going to get easier. When motherhood is going to be more joy-filled. There are night terrors and kids that get out of bed or won't go to sleep or wake up too early. You find yourself waking up each morning feeling exhausted before your feet even hit the ground. It's a cycle of survival. And it’s draining the life out of you.

You struggle to feel love and affection when you are calming tantrums and fits throughout the day. You wonder if you are "cut out" for this life, if you are the best one to care for the children in your home.

You feel like you mess up more than you get it right. You wonder if it’s all worth it. If what you are doing matters. You pray that God can accomplish good even in your weaknesses, despite the ways you fail to give patience or love.

You treasure the good times and pray for more. You say I love you without hearing it said back. You read bedtime stories without knowing how long the bed will remain filled with life. You yearn for stability but find crashing waves of doubt ahead.

I see you. Mother's Day approached and you felt more a sense of dread than excitement. Mother's Day came full of chaos. Kids that experience trauma don't do big days well. You battle wanting to feel happy while feeling so weary inside and out.

You look around and see all the other happy families in pictures plastered on every Facebook wall and wonder if you are the only one who feels like this. The only one who feels discouraged more than she feels hopeful. The only one who wonders if it’s ever going to get easier.

I am you. 

You are not alone. 

You are doing great and mighty work, even when it doesn’t feel like. You are getting up each morning. You keep showing up. You keep doing the best that you can.

Praise God that His mercies are new every morning and Mother's Day has come and gone. Embrace the new day with all of its glories and keep on warrior mom! 

Keep on stretching past your ability. Keep on relying on God for strength to get through. Keep on crying out to our Father in heaven that is full of love for us. Keep on working in the trenches. God sees you. God sees each tear you cry, each hurt you feel, each day that passes that leaves you yearning for peace.

He is here. God sees you. 

He is in the trenches with you. He will never leave you and offers you to find a safe hiding place in Him. A place where you can rest from the storms of this life and the struggles you encounter.

He loves you. Even when you just wanted Mother's Day to be over. 

As you go about your week, I pray you find encouragement in the little things. A child taking a small step forward. A moment of peace in the chaos. A reminder that you aren't alone.

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